by

sandy "don't call me Larry James" feet

Dear Sandy,

I've been trying to think of a good question to ask... one that will really stump you! At first I thought I should just ask you what makes sand castles stand. Then I considered asking you about this year's crop of Winter Texans and why they all go to the Post Office the same time as me. But then I heard that Vanilla Ice is coming back to perform at Charlie's again for spring break '98, and I wondered if even you could explain why he is so popular with our breakers when the rest of the world has pretty much forgotten him...

Anyway, after deciding all that other stuff would make your job too easy, this is the question I have for you: What will the weather be like in mid-February?

-via the internet

What is with this weather obsession? Always the weather! I realize this is a resort town; that a lot of people work very hard in tiny little cubicles, scrimping and saving to spend a week or two on our Island, and that their abilities to have fun while here are closely tied to whatever weather patterns we are currently experiencing -- but it goes deeper then that. Recently, I got no less then three weather-related e-mails in one day from a Dallasite whose sole concern was that she pack the right clothes. "Will I look silly running around in shorts there?" she fretted. "Will I be able to get away with wearing a cute little halter dress when I go out at night?" Sure you will! Just make sure you bring along a cute little over-sized sweat shirt to throw over it ...

Looking good regardless of the temperature fluctuations is a valid concern, but there are a lot of people out there who are mistaking me for someone who has a degree in meteorology -- and they get just a wee bit huffy when I suggest their time would be at least slightly better spent consulting the seers over at the Weather Channel. Plus, you get to listen to all that great elevator music --

Consider me stumped.

Dear Sandy,

Will you and Amazin' Walter and maybe some other Sons of the Beach Sand Castle Wizards be building a sandcastle for Valentines Day this year? It's kind of a tradition for you, isn't it?

- question posed in grocery store aisle

Well, yes it is. We started doing V. Day castles I guess sometime in the mid-80's (remember "Give Your Sweetheart the Island"?) and have yet to miss a single year, so far as I can recall. It started out as a paying gig, but somehow over the past decade it turned into... well, a Labor of Love.

Over that self same decade, we gradually fine-tuned our understanding of capitalism and the American Way, and at long last we have made an important discovery - our rent gets paid when we devote our time to money-making pursuits.

Which is not to imply that we don't still enjoy building sandcastles simply for the entertainment and edification of Island beach walkers. We do still build for the fun of it, and might even be inspired to do just that on or around Feb. 14, 1998, especially since our favorite Winter Texan - Dad Feets - is back in town, and his enthusiasm is pretty contagious.

If we build, it will probably be at one of our two favorite beaches (Boomerang Billy's or Suntide II). Our decision on whether or not to build will be based on a number of factors, including other commitments/deadlines; which wizards are available when; prevailing attitudes; the stage of the moon and...

Does anyone know what the weather is going to be like in mid-February?