Hey!

Looking to hook it up with some fine coeds and discuss the benefits of BEER, SEX, and HENRY DAVID THEREAU. All the ladies tell me what schools you all are from.

Peace out!!!!!

Ryan

Dear Ryan,

I cannot tell you how impressed I am that you are interested in discussing the finer points of civil disobedience and living life more simply during your spring break. So many of us "older folks" have become convinced that spring breakers are only interested in the beer and sex stuff. I see now that we have been guilty of making gross generalizations and beg your forgiveness. (Course, I would be even more impressed if you had come up with the correct spelling of this American Icon's name, but that is a small thing.)

Perhaps we could schedule a Thoreau study group meeting the week you are here, and from there we could go on to discuss the writings of Ralph Waldo Whatever and Emily Dickens...? Count me in!!!

FROM: Captain (water pipe used for smoking strictly legal substances)

SUBJECT: the (getting intimate with friendly ladies) ratio

How many normal looking guys get (to meet nice girls they would not necessarily bring home to meet mom) in padre?? I am not fat, or huge, just normal. I am from (anytown USA) and the girls are (very friendly) here. Just wondering about the ladies in Padre.

Dear Captain,

If past years are any indication, I would say that average-looking guys can do quite well meeting (friendly coeds) here during break. Of course, it is all a question of standards; you could be disappointed if you set your sights on say, a "Bud Girl" or someone who looks like she could be on the cover of... GQ.

I don't mean to sound like your mother, but looks aren't everything. If you are friendly, respectful and (perhaps most importantly) have enough cash to spring for a cocktail or two, I would say the chances of you getting (the opportunity to bond with a female) are -- fair to middling.

Good luck - and please remember to wrap that rascal!

Hey!

Me and 6 of my friends are coming down to South Padre from March 26 to April 2. Anyone know how to get some fakes so we can hit the bars? or do they even care down there?!

-Jill

Oh yes, they care. Our resident specialist, attorney Mike McNamara, just posted an article on this very subject that I really think you ought to read....

People who serve or sell alcohol on SPI have been trained to spot a fake a mile away. Since they risk being canned or relieved of their license if they are caught accepting such a thing, they will peruse your documentation as if their very lives depended on its validity. And you don't even have to use the thing for it to get you in trouble. It may not seem fair, but if your person is searched for any reason by an officer of the law and your fake ID discovered, your spring break experience will most assuredly take a turn for the worse. You may be introduced to the lodging accommodations of the local jail and at the very least will be faced with an unwanted and unplanned expenditure of some major bucks.

The good news is that most Island bars will let you come in and party even if you are underaged - just don't get caught imbibing alcohol on the premises. If you are, being tossed out and having to pay cover again will be the least awful of the possible consequences.

Like Mike says, "The Fake I.D.: Leave Home Without It."

(note: you can see Mike's smiling face and read more of his wisdom in the upcoming spring break issue of Rolling Stone Magazine!)