Dear sandy feet,

I just arrived on your fair island and I don't think I will ever leave. The beach is nice and all, but nothing in the glossy brochures prepared me for the quantity and variety of feminine beauty I would find on such a small island. Women here are among the most gorgeous I have ever seen! Blondes, brunettes, redheads- such variety! All here and all stunningly coiffed and made up just like... like beauty queens!

So tell me what it is -- the water? the air? How did you grow so many beautiful women here? I am lost in admiration -- and envy for the lucky men who get to live among all this natural beauty.

p.s. I was really blown away because my buddy Harold was here just a couple of weeks ago and he complained that there weren't hardly any women under age 60 here. All I can figure is that he got lost and ended up on North Padre or something.

As I always say, Welcome to South Padre Island, where the men are poetic, the women magnetic, and everyone keeps their tan lines all year long....

As for the cause of the phenomenon, well, it can't be the water. (No one with any taste buds left will drink it.) I suppose it could be that fresh gulf breeze that gives us Island women our radiant glow ; or maybe it is a reflection of the inner beauty of the sort of people who are attracted to this place --

Or maybe you were too busy admiring the curves to read the big billboard that says welcome Miss USA Pageant. At any rate, you'd better enjoy the scenery now because in another week they are outta here. (You know what they say about "the fleetingness of beauty" ...or is it youth? Whatever.)

Once the pageant people pack up and head out, you might consider sticking around a few weeks until spring break kicks into gear - giving you ample opportunity to get a look at loads of raw talent. The spring breakers may not have the beauty queen gowns, but they wear skimpier bikinis and - generally speaking - aren't nearly as well chaperoned.

Dear Ms. Feet,

What's with all the kites, all of the sudden?

Back when I was a kid, you put a kite up in the air and - once you got to the end of your line - it pretty much stayed in one place. These kites I'm seeing now are more like gliders on steroids! I've seen their operators make them swoop and dive and spin - even hover just inches above the water.

To tell you the truth, it kinda looks like fun...

They do catch your attention, don't they? The new generation of power kites has attracted quite a local following, thanks to the area's flat terrain and average wind speeds of 10-15 mph. The Borderwinds Kite Club draws its membership from all over the valley, and just last November pulled off a truly exciting kite festival on the flats by the Convention Centre.

Residents and visitors to the area are invited to see (and participate in) a smaller version of the same thing next month, when the Kite Club - in conjunction with Windchasers Kite Shop and the Sons of the Beach - will sponsor a "Winter Texan Appreciation Kite Festival" on the beach by the Radisson. Club members will exhibit some of the tricks and routines performed by the masters at the Nov. festival, and kite-flyers of all ages will be encouraged to bring their kites and compete for prizes.

Meanwhile, those zany SOB Sand Castle Wizards will be working some sandcastle magic nearby - we plan to spend four days on a Valentine-themed sculpture suitable for sweetheart photo opportunities.

It's all free, and it's scheduled for Sunday, Feb. 11-14 (weather permitting - in case of rain, the kite festival will be rescheduled for the following Sunday.)

Webbed Feet

With more and more local folks going on-line with their own pages on the World Wide Web, I thought it would be fun to point at some pages that are of local interest.... we'll start with mine! Visit the SOBsandcastlepage (http://www.sat.net/~sandyfeet) for tips on sandcastling, contest info, recent Ask Sandy columns, and my reviews of local businesses. For info on kiting - with a local emphasis - point your browser to Windchasers On-Line (http://www.vt.com/~sandart/wc.index.html). Want to see what the town of South Padre Island has to say for itself? Go to http://www.sopadre.com/ -- and finally, for an unbiased review of our official nude beach and other Island amenities, check out http://www.webcom.com/~rngerber/naturist/usa/TX/Padre.html

Want to have your website featured here? E-mail me your URL... and happy surfing!

There are five (5) ways to submit your questions/comments for future Ask Sandy columns: In person; by phone (761-6222); the US Postal System (box 2694,spi,78597); fax (956-761-6222) and E-mail (sandyfeet@sat.net).